The NCAA Tournament, with a red slash through it...

NO TOURNEY! YOU GO NOW!

(that's a reference to a line in a John Pinette stand-up routine. I promise this post will be NCAA Tournament-free!)

- Bill Clement is a hockey (you know, that sport on ice, played by Canadiens, eh?) analyst for the Versus network and NBC. He said that he was not condoning what Simon did, but--and anytime someone says "I am not/did not ......, but," you can be damn sure he is/did...--he did offer the following defense for Simon:

1) Clement argued that Simon had no real intent to injure Hollweg. He stated that hockey players usually have great control of their sticks, and Simon was clearly aiming at Hollweg's chin.
2) Clement pointed out that Simon's hands were too far apart on his stick to do any real damage--ask a baseball player how much power he could generate with his hands far apart, Clement said.
3) Clement pointed out that a hockey stick--weighing a couple of ounces, he said--is too light to do any real damage.

He was aiming for Hollweg's chin??? He had no intent to injure? The hands were too far apart? The stick is too light? Let's ask Donald Brashear how that light stick felt when Marty McSorley smacked his temple. I loved Bill Clement's analyses when he was a hockey color commentator on ESPN with Gary Thorne. That being said, are you freaking kidding me??? How can anyone condone a guy wildly swinging his stick at a guy? I don't care if the guy was swinging a hockey stick or a chopstick; if he's swinging at me, clearly there is intent to harm. At least Clement didn't buy Simon's argument that he was concussed, and that caused him to act irrationally. Nevertheless, Bill Clement, congratulations, you are the front-runner for the 2007 Most Ridiculous Sports Comment of the Year.

By the way, coach, you're wrong. Simon got off easy with only a 25-game suspension.

- Here's an example of some major pwnage. Cliffs: a guy posted on the Beyond.ca forums about his friend who got victimized by a hit-and-runner. Apparently another member of the forum happened to be at the intersection of the crash, and had his camera available. He snapped photos of the car (including the dent to the front left bumper AND the license plate), as well as the face of the driver. Apparently, local news media outlets picked up the story, and the guy ended up getting busted! The best part is, the witnesses incorrectly identified the suspect's license plate, but the photos proved to be enough to get him! What an awesome story!

- A straight-A student is suing over getting an F on an assignment she turned in a day late. As usual, the words "emotional stress" appear in the article. While I do agree that there is a problem here--if the school's policy is to allow late assignments to be turned in for certain absences--is a lawsuit, especially for punitive "emotional" damages really necessary? I do believe the teacher should have allowed the student to turn in the assignment late. That being said, I would hate to see what kind of precedent would be set if the student wins her case. Could any student sue any teacher for a bad grade, based on the teacher's dirty looks? I think the principal should have immediately stepped in and rendered a decision; I think (s)he should have allowed the student to turn in the assignment late, or, at the very least, mediate a compromise between the student and the teacher.

- The Green Bay Packers are reportedly discussing a deal for WR Randy Moss. This has been rumored for about a month now. I like the deal, in the sense that it gives Brett Favre a deep threat downfield--a guy that Favre can throw a jump ball to every now and then. However, there are a lot of things to hate about this deal:

1) Moss is owed a ton of money, and he'll probably have to restructure his deal.
2) Moss is 30.
3) Have you seen Moss' act lately?
4) The Raiders reportedly want a #1 in exchange.

That being said, I think the Packers need to take a chance. If the Raiders lower their price down to, say, a #3, or maybe even a #2, I think the Packers should make the move. You'd never know it, but Favre is inching closer to retirement, and he has had to deal with a problem player before (Andre Rison), and that actually worked out well. Green Bay, make the deal!

- Maria Sharapova will lose her #1 ranking after a loss in Indian Wells. I really have nothing to say about this; I just wanted to mention her name once in my blog :P

- Speaking of bad commercials, these SoCal Honda Dealer commercials are HORRIBLE. They usually involve a salesman, at the house of a customer, talking about how they're no-bull, helpful salesman. Each commercial ends with an attempt at comedy; in one commercial, the guy says he's very helpful, and the woman tests that theory by having him do some plumbing work. And no, these commercials are not at all funny.

Two blog posts in a row, and nothing about college basketball? Yikes!